palace tutors are nothing
by RebelzHeart
Summary: Zuko's journey in firebending. Oneshot


**I.**

The first time that he firebends, it's by accident.

He's learning dancing from one of the dancers that perform when the Firelord has guests over, hiding from father and trying to learn more about his people's traditions when the spark lights.

His shirt lights on fire and the dancers are quick to pull it off and stomp the fire, fingers nimble and feet firm.

He sits back and stammers and one of the dancers smiles sadly at him, as though she knows that they can no longer see each other any more, "Congratulations, Zuko," he had gotten them to abandon the _prince_ a few lessons in, "You're a firebender."

Zuko wants to cry in relief. He had been so terrified that he wouldn't be a firebender, that he would turn out like his mother, normal, and be forever condemned to that look on father's face when he looks at Zuko with scorn and disappointment.

"I need to tell father," he scrambles up and races off, only stopping for a moment to pick up his scorched shirt and yell his thanks to the dancers.

They wave back, and he doesn't see them again.

 **II**.

"I heard that you got your fire, Zuko," Iroh sits down with a bumbling sort of grace, smile wide and gentle, "Soon you'll be a warrior, just like Lu Ten!"

"I'll be the best firebender ever!" Zuko promises, eyes bright and eager.

"Second best," Iroh winks, "I'm pretty amazing, myself."

Zuko laughs at him, "Father says that he'll hire specialists to train me with Azula!"

"How exciting!" Iroh plays along, clapping his hands, "Soon you'll be able to make _shapes_ with your fire! Triangles and bears and tigers."

Zuko's eyes sparkle, wide in amazement, "You can _do that_?"

"No," Iroh laughs, "You're too gullible. But you _can_ do some pretty cool things! I'll teach you, sometime."

"You would?" Zuko asks, amazed.

"Of course," Iroh pats Zuko's shoulder and winks, "You, Azula and Lu Ten, the three of you will be the best firebenders in all the land with me teaching you."

Zuko can't even be upset at Azula being added, he's too excited.

 **III.**

Iroh doesn't get around to teaching Zuko how to firebend.

He returns from the city that killed his son, dead eyed and hands folded and Zuko knows better than to ask.

Iroh's fire was extinguished with Lu Ten, left behind in Ba Sing Se, leaving behind a husk of a man that cannot teach Zuko anything.

Zuko abandons dreams of Iroh specially helping him, of surpassing Azula and of coaxing an emotion from father other than disappointment, and goes back to his drills with his tutors that are always disappointed when he isn't Azula.

Iroh is silent, so Zuko is, too. He bites down _you promised_ and tells himself that the palace tutors are better, anyway.

(It is a lie, but Zuko can pretend to believe it.)

 **IV _._**

Once, when he was trying to practice on his own, Zuko had burned himself.

His father had shaken his head, clicked his tongue against his teeth, and Zuko had gone without dinner that night with the command to perfect the form he had been practicing before he can eat.

His mother gives him breakfast in the morning, even though Zuko still needs to practice, and Zuko pretends that he believes her lie that father approved of this.

 **V.**

Zuko doesn't firebend at all when father is angry. He knows that it'll only lead to disappointment, to father's cold stare as he says _Azula is ahead of you and yet so much younger_.

When father is angry, Zuko knows to keep his hands folded and his head bowed, voice shut off because there's nothing he can say to change father's mind, to sway his anger.

So that is what he does when the Agni Kai comes.

(But he forgets to stay silent, forgets to keep his mouth shut as he begs _please_ and forfeits. His father burns half his face and some small part of Zuko wonders if he had never been able to firebend, would this have still happened? For once in his life, he thinks perhaps being a non-bender would have been better than the agony that's fire in his eyes and on his eyebrow and devouring his skin.)

 **VI.**

Iroh tries to teach Zuko how to firebend on the ship, but he is proud and arrogant and will not listen.

"I already know this," he growls, "Teach me something _useful_!"

"If you do not know the basics," Iroh repeats, weary but patient, still kind, "You cannot move on. Your basics will help you whatever the situation."

"I cannot defeat the Avatar with _basics_!" Zuko roars, hands blazing as though fire has ever helped him in his life.

He would have loved this when he was younger. Would have eagerly practiced and laughed and gone through them again and again so long as it was uncle telling him to do it. But Zuko is no longer seven and Iroh's promise to teach him has been long forgotten, no longer desired.

"Patience, Prince Zuko," Iroh says, and Zuko's fingers burn in fury even as he practices his forms again.

 **VII** **.**

"Don't forget your breath of fire," Iroh says.

Zuko gasps out balls of red, weak flame as he crawls from a freezing sea.

 _Father didn't teach me that_ , he thinks, dimly, _Uncle did_.

But he is here to capture the Avatar, here to please his father, to regain his honor, so he pushes away the thought.

 **VIII** **.**

The palace tutors are simpering, sucking up to Zuko as he shows them his forms.

"Amazing!" They praise him, "As expected from the one who defeated the Avatar!"

Dissatisfied that they only praise and teach nothing, Zuko tries not to think of the fact that it was Uncle that taught him these things.

 _It was your duty to teach me this_ , he bites back. _You should have shown me how to do this correctly, instead of beating me when I did something slightly wrong_.

But he simply bows his head and does not correct the lie, because Zuko is a coward and Iroh is a traitor.

(Who is the real traitor, here, when he locked up his firebending teacher and pretended that his basics were strong because of his own merit, and not because Iroh had taught him that those were where his strength lay?)

 **IX** **.**

The dragons' flames are bright and colorful and Zuko watches in awe.

"I understand," he breathes, thinking of Iroh, _fire is in everything_ and Zuko _fire is meant for fighting, not making tea!_ as he storms around a ship, pretending he knows what it means to be a firebender.

Zuko cups his hands and fire comes to life within his palms, soft and small and it dances upon his palm before he extinguishes it.

"Fire is part of everything living," Aang realizes, holding out his hands, "It isn't destruction, it's the opposite!"

 _Yes_ , Zuko thinks as his fire burns again, _this is what Uncle tried to teach me_.

 **X.**

"Good job, nephew," Iroh says, smiling at him from his spot on his chair.

"You're not supposed to say good job," Zuko huffs at him, "You're supposed to teach me how to correct my form."

"But your form is already perfect," Iroh laughs, "You are a firebending master, after all."

Zuko pouts at him, "I still have much to learn."

Iroh grins at him, small and amused, "What could I possibly teach the Firelord?"

" _Uncle_ ," Zuko huffs.

"Alright, alright," Iroh inclines his head and stands up, "Have I taught you _this_ little trick yet?"


End file.
